JP-isms

Having been married to JP for almost 5 years you are never prepared for what comes out of his mouth. He is pretty witty! But the other day he had some classic sayings! I wrote them all down to share with you.

JP was getting a snack and wanted to watch tv in our bedroom: "I need some more milk, than I'll take those chips and dip to bed." I had to do a double take.

Whitney to me: "You look cute."
JP: "That's because she is married to me."

And last, we were laying in bed and I had just put lotion on my hands and they started to burn. So I am freaking out. JP tells me to put more lotion on and the burning will go away. I put more on and it still burns. So JP takes my hands and starts rubbing the lotion in more. He takes my bird finger and flips it up and tells me "Behind every bird is a turd."
Me: "What?"
JP: "Behind every bird is a turd."
Me: "There is NO turd behind this bird."
Then JP starts to laugh because he realizes I have no idea what he was talking about. So he explains that the person flipping the other off is the turd. Thanks?! What am I suppose to say to a complement like that!