Insomnia

It is currently 5:20 in the morning and I have been up for almost an hour. I rolled around in bed for awhile but could not fall back asleep and right now I am WIDE awake. THIS SUCKS!!!! I have not been sleeping well for the past couple of nights. You see I have self induced insomnia because of thinking too much. Remember when I said I try not to over analyze things, well that was a load of crap. Not only do I over analyze things, I refrain from saying what I really want too to keep from hurting peoples feelings I barely know. Case in point, I was called a few weeks ago to temp at a office. Once there I was talking to one of the other girls and found out they were hiring for two days a week. To make a long story as short as I can I went and temped one more time and the girl pretty much told me I had the job and she would call me that Friday or Monday. This was weird as the dentist had not interviewed me and said all of maybe two words to me in the two days I was there. Well they never called so I said OK and was looking other places. Well they called me finally on Wednesday afternoon and wanted me to come in again because the dentist didn't remember who I was (can we say RED flag?!). I had temped there twice before and he could not remember who I was because he never talked to me. Anyways I went in yesterday and they offered me the job. Problem is I had decided through out the day that the job would be nice but the office was not a good fit for me. You know how some things bug you and you tell yourself you will get over it but you know darn well sure you won't? That is how some things were there and I knew those things would not change and my attitude wouldn't either. So instead of telling them while I was there I tell them I will call them on Monday. I barely know these people, they can't even remember my name and I could not just say NO. I think it is because I am worried I won't find something else but the thing is I know I will eventually, especially if I really start looking. JP can' understand why I didn't say no. He tells me I say no to him all the time, so it can't be too hard. Yes I say no to him but that is because he wants to buy another rental, or trade in my car for another, or buy lots of candy, etc, etc. Those things are easy to say no too because they cost money. A job pays you money. You see there is a big difference. (and for the record he still does whatever he wants regardless of what I say! He will get mad I made this comment though so keep this our little secret! What am I talking about, my whole blog is a secret, in fact he has no idea what I write about on here. I do love him though regardless of those moments of not thinking and purchasing. We all have those moments, mine just hang in my closet very nicely and don't cost nearly as much as his!!!) So thanks for reading and please refrain from leaving comments for me to just say no as I cannot spend another night not sleeping and am going to call later today to tell them I cannot take the job. I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!!